How I Fell Into Bodybuilding

As I begin my journey towards competitive bodybuilding, I laugh when I spend any amount of time thinking about how I got here. I never planned it. I just kind of happened. Two years ago, no part of me would have believed this is what I’m doing.

In 2019, I was diagnosed with a benign spinal cord tumour. The day I found out there was a problem was supposed to be day of celebration. It was federal election day. I was campaign manager for my Member of Parliament’s re-election campaign. Our riding was a battleground and I lead my team to a huge victory. But instead of celebrating, my day was spent in a fog as I received notification that something was found, and I needed a follow-up spinal MRI with contrast.

For years prior to that, I was experiencing the worst nerve pain while slowly losing function and feeling in my right leg. Doctors did that thing where they ignore what you are saying because of X pre-existing pain condition while telling you to exercise more. I was exercising. To the point of causing harm and making my condition worse. Because you see, even the low-impact exercise of walking causes my nerve to short circuit, and I lose all function of my leg.

No one listened. I’d got so angry because they all were ignoring the fact that I used to dance over 20 hours a week and now I could barely walk from the living room to the bathroom. Finally, I convinced my GP that I needed more testing. And then came the diagnosis of yet another chronic thing to manage on top of all my other disabilities and autoimmune disorder.

By this point, I couldn’t stand for more than five minutes. I couldn’t walk for more than two minutes. I was on the waitlist to be fitted for a wheelchair when COVID came and shut everything down. I had to wait close to a year before that happened and I could once again leave my home to see doctors who needed to do hand-on exams.

While all of this was going on, I also had a lot to celebrate. I sold my cookbook Crip Up the Kitchen, and I started T, all within a couple days of each other in November 2021. My T Day was a big deal because for decades, I had doctors falsely tell me I was ineligible because of my pre-existing conditions.

My first year an T was not good. I was on a gel and my body wasn’t absorbing it. I tried to get back into fitness during this year. But between having barely detectable hormone levels of any kind and not knowing how to train my body in ways that wouldn’t continue to cause harm, it was very unsuccessful. I not only tried to create programming for myself but also tried a wide range of workout apps. Some of these apps caused more damage than others.

November 2022 is my true T Day. That is when I was finally switched to injection. A month later, I was also put on E because my body refuses to turn T into necessary E like it’s supposed to. Yes, all bodies require E for proper function.

In December 2022, I decided that I needed help. And that is when I won the trainer lottery. On a whim, I decided to try a virtual training platform I kept seeing sponsored videos for. I had nothing to lose with the free trial.

I was very sceptical at first. During the initial meeting, I told my trainer all my reservations. All the bad experiences I’ve had especially with programming that is dangerous for me to do, like anything split stance. I told him I’m not one for chitchat. Just give me my workouts and if you don’t hear from, that means all is well. Fun fact: The platform I’m on gives monthly reports on how you use the platform plus training stats. My trainer and I are in the Top 1% in terms of how often we chat with each other LOL.

My trainer and I are almost the same person. He has been so supportive during the highs and low of my health and career. He’s affirming of my trans ass. I’ll never get over the sheer luck of being paired with him.

He has been amazing. He worked with my physical therapist at the Victoria Pain Clinic to incorporate exercises to create neuroplasticity and train surrounding muscles to take over when my leg stops working, lessening the dangers of constant falls. He created programming that was no impact. It was all about functional strength. At around the same time, I also started a new medication to manage the nerve pain. Between the routines he gave me and a new medication, within six I went from living at an 8-9 on the pain scale to a 3-5.

At the end of July of 2023, when my autoimmune disorder wasn’t throwing extra wrenches into the machine, I found myself being able to exercise 10 hours a week. This may seem like a lot. But you need to remember, this is less than 50 per cent of my baseline. This is when I decided to shift the focus from purely functional strength and begin to also focus on body composition.

A variety of immunosuppressants and nerve mediations had caused me to gain weight. I was somewhere between 20-25 per cent body fat and I wanted to get down to 15 per cent. Fifteen per cent wasn’t as low as I was pre-medications, but I knew I could be happy with that. Knowing that I used to be 10-12 per cent body fat, my trainer said he thought we could easily get me back down to 11. I laughed. I told him there was no way this would ever happen. Not at my age. Not with my health stuff.

He slightly changed my strength training routines. I bought myself a spin/rhythm cycle bike because after watching some videos, I knew that would be a very nice no/low-impact replacement for dance. He didn’t give me any diet advice because I was already firmly educated in proper nutrition. Off we went.

On February 23, 2024, I found myself at 15 per cent body fat, and thought, “Shit, this was easy. Why stop now?”

On May 3, I found myself at 13 per cent. Why not keep going?

June 10, I found myself at 11 per cent and went, ‘WHOA HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!”

I also gained 12 kg of muscle since starting with him in December 2022.

I had reached my great big, huge body composition goal that I firmly believed would never happen. I did it without the restriction of food groups and without a bunch of other really bad toxic diet culture things. I did it while developing a baking cookbook and all the food testing that goes along with that. I did it while loving every second of movement.

Then I found myself contemplating, what next? Well, my chest is a problem area. When they did my top surgery, they had to remove all tissue because of a first degree relative with cancer. While they were able to save the muscle, I did start with a concave chest. Everything was scooped out. And I have no feeling in my chest, sides and into my back. This makes chest exercises difficult as the permanent nerve damage makes connecting with my chest muscles challenging. So, we decided that my next great big, huge goal would be to see if we can get my chest to 102 cm.

But that still didn’t feel like enough for me. I wanted something bigger. Something that felt like that the laughable 11 per cent body fat. I stumbled across a documentary about an all-trans bodybuilding competition titled Man Made And that is when I decided, to celebrate a rapidly approaching 50th birthday, I was going to celebrate my body and all that I’ve been able to accomplish at FIFTY by entering competition! At first, my idea was to train me for the November 2025 all trans competition.

I thought competing against my cis peers was out of the question because I couldn’t find a competition that would allow me to compete because I have to take T and a diuretic for medical conditions. I want to compete on a level playing field. Competing against people who take “gear” is not for me.

But then, I found a competition that allows for medical exceptions! So now, I may also compete against my cis peers in April 2025. I’ll make that decision in December depending on where my body is then.

To be clear, this competition is with myself and no one else. This entire experience has been so gender affirming. More about this in another post.

I told my trainer this is what I want to do. I told him that I won’t be doing the horrible bodybuilding “sad foods,” as I call it. I didn’t deny myself anything to get here. I’m not going to do it moving forward. He happily agreed, because my current body is proof that doing so isn’t necessary.

Anyway, here it is June 22, 2024, and I’m down again to 10.4 per cent body fat and now training for competition. The featured image is me on February 1, 2024, on the left, and then again on June 21, 2024.

I have so much to say about how I got here. And I’m sure I’ll have a lot to say as I go. All of which I’ll ramble about here. I’ll talk about food. I’ll bust myths. I’ll talk about how I managed while my autoimmune disorder tried to kill me last year. And how no, it doesn’t have to suck. I’ll show progress pics. All of it.

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